Hello, Sweetie.

Words do not describe how sad I am for Rudy. How can I love a creature so much that I pretty much neglected once he was able to just go outside? I spend days without seeing him and when I do its for short periods. I love him so much. I am solely responsible for his bath times, for every single vet visit and every single groom. But I neglect him. I dont feed him or buy him food, my dad does. I dont play with him. I dont walk him daily, we just let him out and he”s not treated like a member of the family. I hope that nothing serious is wrong with him. I wouldnt be surprised if he’s just depressed. But I really hope its just a little bug. That he’ll be better in no time. Nothing can describe the feeling I get when I think about having him checked and being told its something that cant be cured. That he’s suffering and needs to be put down. No. Id fucking die. Id blame myself for everything. Hopefully he will get better and I will be a better mommy. I will always keep him by my side and give him lots of snuggles and kisses. I love Rudy. And he loves me. But I dont deserve his love. I’ll earn it though. I promise.